Becoming a Better Man
I’m going to confess something here: My life thus far is filled with some very, very dark patches. I have willingly walked myself into some of the most foul corners of my heart and wallowed there. There are decisions I have made, and behaviors I have engaged in, that I can only look back upon and wince at with shame. They have been far too common for my liking, and far too easy to return to.
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;
he breaks out against all sound judgment.
– Proverbs 18:1
Over a year ago, I accepted a necessary, scary truth. There was no way I was going to escape those dark moments on my own. If there was to be any permanent improvement, I would have to set my guards down and risk letting some other men in. Men who had humility and integrity. Men who had their own demons to escape. Men who would share in my suffering, call me on my
bullshit rationalizations, and encourage me when I needed to strengthen my backbone.
As a very private, introverted man, I found the whole idea frightening as hell.
My God is pretty cool, though. He picked a man up and put him in my path. He directed me to him. All I had to do was walk across the room, past my fear, and ask for some of his time. Since then, we have grown from just acquaintances to close friends. Today, we call each other brothers.
As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.
– Proverbs 27:17
From that connection, others have grown. By taking that one risk, a small network of men seeking and providing accountability to one another has been introduced into my life. I am undeniably better for it.
If you’re a man, and you want to escape the patterns that cause you pain and shame, I encourage you to seek out other men who will hold you accountable. Allow them to have the authority to speak into your life, and call you out. Be uncomfortably honest with them. It’s not an easy step to take, but it is totally worth it.
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